A second opinion?

This is my work for my English assessment and since I was in Spain, I had to finish it in the holiday, so I haven't been able to get a second opinion on it. If you wouldn't mind reading it, then I just want to know what you think of it really and anything you might think needs improving. I'm not very good with endings so that might be something ^^; Anyway, we were given some poems and we had to write something related/inspired by/based off of/etc.. the poem we chose. I chose Salome by Carol ann duffy There are typos in this version. If I was going to give it a rating based off of FF.net, then I'd say rated T.